We live in a world of overwhelming expectation, unexpected disappointment, and ever-threatening uncertainty. We live in a world of hope shadowed with doubt, drive with fear, and desire with reserve. We know what we want yet our hands have always been slapped when we try to grab for that. We are conditioned to believe that ..good things come to those who wait... But how long must we wait before we are conditioned to accept the good things that we have waited for? Or will we ever?
We constantly criticize our society for being indulgent, for not thinking, for flying by the seat of our pants, for moving quickly, for looking for pleasure, for seeing the present, for ignoring the future.. and although that may be true, why is this criticized and not admired? Why do assume that the alternate lifestyle is any better?
We say we want to feel, experience, live, and love. We say we want that excitement, the thrill, the adventure... we say we want the romance. We dream of a fairytale. We say we want... LIFE. But when, in all these instances, in all your own, have you ever known life or love to exist under any sort of controlled environment? In what romance, in what fairytale, adventure or thrill... in what amazing love story have you heard of the characters being afraid to lose control? Afraid to simply... be.
In our lives we are too often reminded... too often warned to, ..be careful.... to ..keep our guard up.... to ..be sure... We pride ourselves on PRIDE. We convince ourselves that things are not worth the effort, that things move to quickly, that we should only afford a single chance... or that we are simply too good to even be bothered. I ask you then... what is good enough for you? When you look and long for perfection I only hope that you can find that in yourself. When you say you can't find what you're looking for... I only hope that your eyes are fully open.
It..s funny how in every other aspect of our lives we are pushed to take risks, to reach for the impossible, to trust in our self, to jump off the high dive... but in the one area that is fully reliant on gut, on emotion, on instinct... we are trained to not believe it. Never have we been advised to tread most lightly on eggshells than when dealing with love... We are taught to move slowly and quietly, with reserve, with caution... with "safety".. but have you ever thought that the more slowly you move toward people, the more quickly people will move away from you?
In all of our ambitions, we adopt the mentality... ..The greater the risk = the greater the reward..... But this isn't something that should pertain only to the things in life we can control, the things we have back up plans for, the things that we think we can experience with a certain amount of dignity and grace... because in reality, if you can do and have all those things, then the true risk is not really a risk at all. Risk is losing control, not knowing, not having a plan... Risk is scary... Risk is dangerous... Risk is uncertain... Risk is a RISK. And only when we decide to believe that and understand it can we really experience the benefits and reward of TRULY putting ourselves on the line.
We all have history. No one can say they..ve lived 12, 20, 30, 42, or 98 years without one. We all have our own and yet we are all have parts in common. Everyone has laughed and cried. Everyone has been excited and disappointed. Everyone has taught and been taught, everyone has learned and everyone continues learning.. and no matter who you believe you are or what you believe you've done... everyone has hurt... and if you think about everything you experienced during that time and everything you wish you hadn't.. know that all that pain and anguish, all that growth, and all that overcoming... all of it is worthless unless you have really learned... unless you can really move on... unless your history has given you the capacity to experience, to know, to understand... to love on a level that you have never known before...
We say we want that ability, that capacity, that motion forward... and if this is true, then why are we so afraid to take it? We should be afraid of never having the opportunity to experience it instead of afraid to grab hold of the option... We say all we ant is happiness, all we want is emotion, all we want is to live, love, and be loved... but then why do we restrict any opportunity we have of doing that? Why do we insist on remembering our pains and reliving them every opportunity we get? Why do we insist on using it as an excuse for our misery now?
I'm sick of people people blaming their misery on lack of opportunity... when in reality, it's only their lack of openness to experience that causes such unhappiness... you can't live if you're afraid of living, you can't find love if you don't give others the option to love you, you can't find yourself, if you're too afraid to look.
I tell you now, I beg of you... don't fear. Don't fear love and don't fear life because in doing so you will only come to realize how much you have lost.. even more than what you lost the first time.
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