For most, the word December rings memories of snowfall, Christmas, food, family, and the coming of a new year. For most, the word December brings a smile to many faces and warmth in many hearts. For others... we long for the moment when that experience may be our own.
Do you ever wonder why life never fails to distract you with disappointment and dissatisfaction. The moments when you feel you have finally taken steps forward and taken control of your destiny, that distraction is there to remind you that destiny is not something that we will ever have the power to determine. No matter how far we move forward in our lives there will always be instances, like the holidays, that force us to take a step back and look at where we have come from... where we have been. These moments give us the opportunity to look around us and see the people we are with now and those that we have left... see the differences that have been made and those that are still left to be made... see what has been done and what needs to be done...
It's funny the way we get wrapped up in our lives... we are so quick to be able to forget, to block out the things that hold us back or have held us back in the past... we are so quick to move forward... to move on... and although this is important and what point must we reconsider the balance between moving on and allowing ourselves to be moved by the things we run away from? At the same time, however, we must consider the things that we continue to allow to influence our lives that maybe we should completely cut out.... because however much we want to believe that it makes us stronger... maybe our strength is just a front for the weakness we have refused to accept.
Although I'd like to say that this is our only struggle with pride, we have been so jaded by our love for ourselves that we are constantly overshadowed by this ideal image and thus find ways to deny, hide, run from the main faults to our character... to our social development... to others... and most importantly to ourselves....
Recently I've come to realize that some of the people who I once so greatly admired have finally revealed their true character... as we cannot hide beneath our smooth and shiny veneer forever. It made me realize not only how quickly we work to create this facade but also how quickly we are to accept that of others... and although bits of their truth may have come out in the past, we allow the excuses, the lies, and the cover-ups to continue to deny us the freedom to see clearly and honestly through the eyes that we should trust from experience. I'm not suggesting the need to question every character but instead to question ourselves and our own desire to push our picture of perfection.... for the less we lie to others and the less we lie to ourselves can only equal a smaller disappointment when we must finaly come to grips with our true reality...
We always want to believe that whatever our hidden truths are for the betterment of those around us and for the safety and protection of those we love... if we truly loved those around us though we would allow them the ability to experience a full and honest life... exposed to all the truths that they can afford... to know that their life was real, that they were real, and so were you... we only live once and although that life might never amount to the dream we had in our heads at least we won't wake up one morning to find out that our entire past was just a dream... and leaving us to pick up the pieces.
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