Free will and rational thought. For all intents and purposes, we claim that these are two among our accolades that set us apart from the animal world and allow us to experience the glory that we know as, human.
Why then, as I've pondered, do we in our weakest moments respond without any clear indication of either ability? Why is it that in painful or threatening moments we act no better than the animals we claim to be so far above?
When all is said and done, we act on instinct - one that tells us to avoid pain and seek pleasure. But what, then, do we do when that pleasure is what brings pain? When you feel inadequate around the ones you most adore, when the ones you love most break your heart, and the light that once shown upon you grows cloudy? Are we prepared, by instinct, to process what that juxtaposition makes us question?
Yet in that question, do we really have a choice?
Recently I've been told that, in these instances, I choose one of two options: accept apology and let it go or stay hurt and move on. Let it go or move on. Sounds simple enough, rational and logical. For all intents and purposes, it is. If we look at any number of instances in our lives we can generally see one of two options, fine. But where in this might we factor in variables? Where might we discuss the emotion behind what complicates what we would like to feel so simple? Can we?
In moments where we hold full accountability, maybe. And maybe even more so when accountability simply cannot be placed. For in those moments, who is to blame but the moment itself? Who needs to fix it but time?
What them, if someone is accountable? If and when that is claimed, should it be enough?
As a woman, a love and a self-proclaimed romantic, I've been misled to believe that the ones that love us do so devotedly, responsibly and committed. I've been misled to believe that the ones we "choose" don't cause pain, and in the rare occasion that they do, fight for us to reclaim their love. So where does that leave us if they don't? Is it a choice to feel disappointed or simply a response to what I have been cultured to long for?
Regardless, should that longing be condemned? That being asked, is that something that we have the choice to change?
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